I Hate the Tesla Drive-In Because It Looks So Damn Cool

Elon Musk is a racist asshole who’s spent millions of dollars trying to put a bloodthirsty fascist back into the White House. But I found myself conflicted Friday morning while reading a new article at Bloomberg about the Tesla drive-in diner and EV charging center that Musk is opening in Los Angeles. I hate that I love it. And I really wish anyone else but Musk was building it right now.

The 1950s-style drive-in, which sits at Santa Monica Boulevard and Orange Drive in Hollywood, will reportedly have 28 EV charging stalls, a restaurant with rooftop seating, and two movie screens. The diner will also be open 24 hours, according to old reports.

Anyone who knows me can easily understand why I would love the look and concept of this thing. Bloomberg describes it as a “retro-futuristic carhop-movie-theater-mashup.” And I just so happen to be the guy who’s been writing Paleofuture, a blog about past visions of the future, since 2007. This place was basically made for me. I mean, look at this rendering that shows what it’s eventually supposed to look like. It’s straight out of The Jetsons.

And that’s why I’m so conflicted. Because whatever I love about the design of mid-20th century Los Angeles—with its hopeful vision of tomorrow and Googie-laced excess—clearly represents something very different to guys like Elon Musk. To him, the aesthetics of retrofuturism is that of a reactionary nostalgia for the 1950s and ’60s, laced with all the racism and “traditional” gender roles that he’s constantly whining about these days.

You only need to look at the way Musk talks to see the connection, whether it’s at his big Tesla events or interviews with people like far-right influencer Tucker Carlson. Musk talks about how “the future should look like the future,” which is to say that it should emulate the retro-futuristic sheen of the past. And then he goes on podcasts to complain about the “woke mind virus,” spread lies about trans people, and demonize immigrants. How futuristic.

It’s not hard to understand how the aesthetic choices of this diner and Musk’s politics can meet up. There are plenty of people who enjoy the look of 1960s futurism who aren’t fascists. But if you’re a far-right billionaire, that aesthetic represents something very different. It celebrates a moment in time before such woke annoyances as the birth control pill (Musk doesn’t like it), DEI initiatives (Musk thinks diversity and inclusion is anti-white discrimination), and mainstream America’s social acceptance of trans people (Musk also has a real problem with that ever since his trans daughter disowned him). When someone like Musk is embracing the style of retrofuture the emphasis is on retro over future.

I’ve never owned an electric car. In fact, I don’t own a car of any kind at the moment. But I sometimes drive the electric cars of friends and family and know what a pain the charging can be, depending on your proximity to Tesla’s Superchargers. This drive-in looks like a very cool way for people to do that charging while grabbing something to eat or watching a movie.

Musk is an unethical person who regularly uses dodgy techniques to fudge robot demos and break several labor laws while being staunchly anti-union. And that’s to say nothing of the fact that he’s also trying to usher in a new wave of Trumpism that promises to terrorize Americans. Trump has promised to deport millions of people in a “bloody” operation, says he will use the military to go after political opponents like Adam Schiff and Nancy Pelosi, and his former top advisors have literally called him a fascist who wanted Adolf Hitler’s generals.

And yet I’m stuck looking at this upcoming Tesla diner and thinking it’s a place I’d happily visit if Musk wasn’t involved. Am I the baddy, to paraphrase a popular meme? I think I’m the baddy.

It’s still unclear when the restaurant might open. The YouTube channel 247Tesla posted a new drone video earlier this week from Hollywood showing progress at the diner construction site in Hollywood. But reports have hinted that this diner concept could be expanded to other locations if it does well.

I despise everything Musk stands for politically and can’t stand other aesthetic choices the guy has made with garbage like the Cybertruck. But I think it’s important to admit that I love this Tesla diner concept. I sincerely hope Musk flees to Russia (we learned yesterday the billionaire has been in “regular contact” with Vladimir Putin since late 2022), but I have to give credit where credit is due.

And my conflicted emotions seem to be the point. The new article at Bloomberg notes that liberal EV owners have soured on Musk and this diner is one way to connect with a consumer base that sees the billionaire as fundamentally opposed to their values. It’s a branding exercise and it’s completely worked on me so far.

Unless something radically changes by the time they finish this diner, it looks like a pretty solid retail concept. And if Musk doesn’t ultimately leave the country for any number of reasons (Musk has said he thinks he’ll be thrown in jail if Kamala Harris wins the election), here’s hoping the staff at Musk’s new diner at least unionize the place. There’s absolutely no way that George Jetson got a two-hour workday through any other means than a tough union.